Good men are hard to find…
About a week ago I saw a posting from a young-lady stating the following:
“My ex-boyfriend would make it seem as though he could get any girl he wanted. I always felt so (lucky) to have him. Not just him, I have had a history of boyfriends who made me feel precisely this way.
My exes always made it seem like incredibly beautiful women were waiting, and throwing themselves at them. I was just an option and I had to feel somehow lucky to be with them. I know you may not relate. My best friend is the same situation. Her boyfriend who is not the hottest makes her feel the same way. Is this idea of an extremely attractive woman willing to have sex with any man including an unattractive man a male fantasy?”
Perception is Reality
There are two things going on here. The first is the general perception that women are more interested in being in a relationship or getting married. Essentially most men believe there are more (women lined up) looking to get married than there are men wanting to get married. The media consistently spews out books, magazine articles, and talk shows on subjects such as: How to find a husband in 30 days! How to prepare the “engagement chicken” dinner, How to get your man to commit, How to make him fall in love with you, How to be the perfect girlfriend, What do men really think and want…etc Is it any wonder men believe they are in “high demand”!?
Another example is how society views single men and women beyond a certain age. It’s automatically assumed the man is not married because he doesn’t want to be. On the other hand it would be considered “rude” to ask the woman why she never got married because it’s possible no man ever proposed to her.
Another common statement often made by women is: “A good man is hard to find.” You rarely hear a lot of men claim that a good woman is “hard to find”. Naturally after hearing how tough it is for women to find a “good man” a guy who considers himself to be “good” sees himself as being in the “minority”. Therefore any woman he’s with is “lucky” to have him. And if he happens to be financially successful or considered good-looking then he really believes he is something “special”.
Confidence is Magnetic
Last but not least some women are drawn towards men that are super confident/borderline arrogant. They want to believe they beat out other women who would love to have a man like him! Deep down everyone wants to be with someone that others see as being a real catch.
Is this idea of an extremely attractive woman willing to have sex with any man including an “unattractive man” a male fantasy?
There are two ways men look at this; if he is rich or famous he can have any woman he wants! Hugh Hefner is a 86 year old man who recently married a “beautiful” 26 year old woman. Can you imagine that in reverse? Not likely.
The next example of why men believe it is possible for an “average Joe” to catch a beautiful woman is the conviction that if she has had her heart broken several times she may be of the mindset that she is willing to overlook a man’s appearance in order to have a stable relationship with a “loving trustworthy man”.
Lori Gottlieb wrote a book for women titled: Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. Once again this feeds into the mentality that “good men” are hard to find and even if he is not good looking or you don’t feel any chemistry towards him don’t blow your chance at having a stable relationship/marriage.
Can you imagine a similar book written for men?